Just like military life is full of stressors, military marriage is no less than a challenge. You might have idolized your marital life just like in movies, but the reality is far apart from that.
Being a spouse of a military person carries a ton of challenges the relationship will face. The factors you would have to bear, such as deployment, reintegration, and separation, do not make marriage a piece of cake for you.
However, some military spouses deal with these stressors efficiently, which endure them pursue a healthy military relationship. Let’s focus on some key ingredients you should consider when married to a military spouse.
Couples need to stay in touch, even though they are miles apart from each other. Having a healthy relationship is based on communication. Hence, it would help if you explored ways through which you two can stay connected.
With military marriages, it is critical to get in touch so often, but a five-minute conversation a day can exclude the hindrances in your way of affinity. You may consider video-chatting, texting, or regular phone calls. If you both are unavailable mutually, dropping a virtual love letter illustrating your sentiments for your spouse can do wonders. Tell them how much they mean to you before it is too late.
Take care of them when they are home
The military personnel rarely visit their homes, but when they do, they look for the warmth, coziness, and care they have missed for so long. With intense exposure to asbestos, gunpowder, and other harmful materials, they can develop certain diseases or any type of cancer. Therefore, it is better to take safety measures. A visit to the medical expert for a general examination will not be a bad idea.
Apart from medical care, you can surprise them with their favorite meals every day until they are home, so they know how much you love and care about them despite you two being detached for an extended period. Your support for your partner would be the best care you can show to them.
Make intimacy a priority
Intimacy is the core need of every relationship. However, it can be hard to feel cherished in a military marriage, yet essential since you have been away from each other. Intimacy does not have to be physical, but you can maintain closeness by expressing love, holding hands, cuddling, and having a romantic date. Remember that these things brought you together in the first place.
Plan love activities
The obligations have kept you both from each other, but it does not mean you will not reunite anytime soon. You can plan fun activities to do when you meet to smile cheerfully. Such as, you can record your thoughts in a journal to talk with your partner about them.
You can also save your memorable songs to listen in magical nights when you reunite, so it reminds you of how much you have loved each other constantly, and the rigid duties won’t affect that. Make the time a memorable one by scheduling date nights and ventures that are of interest to you.
Utilize deployment as me time
Deployment can be scary since you might not know how long you have to stay apart. Try to find an opportunity in every crisis. You are suddenly alone for a year or more. It is time to focus on how you can cope with their memories and loneliness. You can think of deployments as a time to pursue your passion.
For example, you might be interested in reading, writing, traveling, sports, and other activities. Work on your hobbies and relish ‘me’ time since it won’t come often. If you are in parenthood, you may choose fun and entertaining activities with your kids throughout the day. There can be no better time, so grasp the chance now.
Compromise for your love
Being in the military is physically demanding. With rigid training and daily routine, this job can even take a toll on one’s mental health. Hence, the partner is recommended to compromise at times. It does not mean there won’t be any arguments since every married couple comes across disagreements. You might not see them fighting, but it is not a rom-com movie, which means a lot is going on behind the curtains. A study shows that the happiest couples fight more than we assume.
Even the self-absorbed and moody ones inevitably have to make some compromises when they are in a relationship with a military person. After all, the ego is not greater than your relationship.
Know that things won’t be easy
Rather than developing expectations, know that a relationship with a martial person will be highly challenging. Since expectations lead to heartbreak, you should be ready to encounter difficulties.
A tip to remember: know it is entirely okay if things do not go the right way or you get into an argument. Remember that your spouse is also adjusting to the tough job, rigorous routine, clumsy people, hard-to-stay places, and much more. The bottom line is to consider your life an adventure with a military spouse.
Learn about your spouse’s interests
Happiness is the key factor to the success of your relationship. It can come in various ways, even if you both discuss each other interests with keen curiousness. It would help to learn more about each other and diminish a gap you have built over time while staying apart. You can talk about what your spouse’s daily life is like, what activities you both perform, and other aspects to better understand each other’s experiences.
Being in a marriage comes up with various daring provocations, and military relationships further contribute to the challenge list. The hardships of jobs, the critical routine, less communication, low intimacy, mood swings, mental health issues, not seeing your loved ones, and many other factors can accord to the downfall of your relationship or weaken its base. Following the tips above to get out of the stressors, you can build an ideal, happy and healthy relationship with your military partner.