Being a girl, you are under the pressure of society to maintain the image of a good girl. But we need help to get ahead in our careers. Due to the pressure of society, many girls get into the trap of Good Girl Syndrome, which results in a lack of fulfilment and personal unhappiness.
What is Good Girl Syndrome?
In most cases, the seed of this problem is sown in childhood by family and society. Parents are the first and foremost teachers of every child, who nurture them to be capable people. A study shows that boys’ desirable traits are dominance, assertiveness, and independence, whereas girls are expected to be cheerful, warm, and loyal.
Every parent wants to nurture their kids to be the best person, but they place a high value on their daughters. To make them acceptable and lovable by society, they mistakenly train them to be people-pleaser. Good Girl is expected not to express her opinion; she will always listen to her family and do whatever they want; she cannot do anything that will upset anyone. In her dictionary, there is no word like ‘no,’. It is her responsibility to take care of others before her own needs. All these things will eventually leave her frustrated and irritated.
But the problem arises when these girls grow up and start working towards their careers. It will become difficult for her to survive in the corporate world with that attitude of hers.
5 Signs showing you are suffering from Good Girl syndrome
Being a kind person is the best quality whether you are a boy or a Girl. But you should know whether you are a good girl in a positive sense or a good Girl in a problematic way. Some signs will help you determine whether you are suffering from Good Girl Syndrome.
1.Contingent thought of being loved by others
A good girl’s life revolves around the rule, ‘if you want to be loved and accepted by society, then you should be nice to everyone around you.’ This thing is only possible for a person to please everyone around. Every person has different demands or expectations of her, which become difficult for her to meet, eventually making her disappointed and frustrated. No matter how good of a person you are, society will always find flaws in you.
2.Cannot say no
This is one of the most common issues of Good Girl Syndrome. From childhood, a girl is taught to be obedient; she cannot say no to any of the demands of her family. She must make herself capable of completing all the orders given to her. But she can only fulfil the demand of some. She is not a superhero who can do every task. There are many circumstances when she is asked to do something which she cannot, but due to her nature of obedience, she finds it difficult to say no to that work.
3.Afraid to upset people
Being a Good Girl, you should always think about other people’s happiness as a priority. It would help if you worked hard to make everyone happy; you cannot upset anyone. These are some ideas which have been taught to you since childhood. And now, being a grown-up girl, you are afraid of upsetting others. You can compromise with your happiness, but you cannot make other people unhappy. This makes the life of a Good Girl very vulnerable because they cannot even take a stand for their happiness and have to live a life full of unhappiness.
4.Criticism is the end of her world
As normal people, criticism is not an important thing; many peoples even enjoy being criticised by others. They see it positively; it allows them to improve their performance and become more creative. But for a Good Girl, Criticism is the end of her world; she is always afraid of getting any negative feedback from others. And when she gets any negative feedback, then instead of seeing it as an opportunity, they start feeling sad or depressed. For them getting criticism from someone is the last thing she wants in their life.
5.Always wear a perma-smile
One of the common and visible signs of Good Girl Syndrome is you always wear a smile on your face no matter what kind of situation you face. Good Girls are taught to put a smile on their faces while interacting with anyone. Even when you feel like crying from the inside, you must still put on that smile. You cannot express or show your real emotions in front of anyone.
How to break the cycle of Good Girl Syndrome
Good Girl Syndrome is a mental issue rooted in a girl’s childhood. It is hard to break this cycle, but it is not impossible. There are some ways to break the cycle of Good Girl Syndrome.
- If you suffer from Good Girl Syndrome, you should take therapies and counselling sessions with mental health experts. This will help you understand your condition better, and they will also guide you in overcoming this vicious cycle.
- Start training your mind, and keep repeating that you love yourself the way you are. Refrain from trying to please everyone. It is OK to be not loved by everyone. The main point is you should love yourself.
- Start practising saying NO whenever you feel like you cannot accomplish the thing they want you to do. Take your time saying YES to everything; take the same time to gain confidence.
- Always remember that you are not responsible for the happiness of other people. It is normal if some peoples get upset by your behaviour.
- It would help if you stopped smiling every time in the face of people. Feel free to express your emotions to others.
- Do not avoid negative traits of yourself. It would also help if you accepted this side without feeling depressed.
It is pleasing to hear yourself as a Good Girl, but developing and maintaining that image is tough. For the sake of being a ‘Good Girl, they compromise with their happiness and become the puppet of society.