This feels like one of those facets of wedding planning you don’t think about ahead of time, but it remains a necessity. Your groomsmen don’t just pop out of the ground like in Jason and the Argonauts. Deep cut there, but you might learn something. Point is, your groomsmen won’t just magically appear right next to you on your wedding day. You’ve got to ask them!
How to Pick Your Groomsmen
Before we dive too deep into your groomsmen proposals, let’s figure out who you’re going to ask. At a minimum, you want a best man who you trust with your new men’s wedding bands. Beyond that, there are a few considerations to keep in mind.
Consideration 1: Keep It in the Family
The bride or groom’s family? Well, both, really. Let’s say, for example, you’re marrying a girl who’s got a brother. Seems plausible. Do you have to ask him? The short answer is no, you don’t have to. If you two aren’t close, you probably don’t want to. However, if you’re reasonably close, it’s generally considered good form.
Let’s say, for example, you’ve got a brother. Do you have to ask him? Well, again, the short answer is no, if you aren’t close. However, if you are close, you should strongly consider it. Yes, it’s your day and all, but you do have to consider how your choice of groomsmen is going to affect those around you.
Consideration 2: Who’s Been There the Longest
This can be a double-edged sword. You may have a childhood friend you keep in touch with occasionally but are no longer close with. Should you ask him? Maybe, if you want to. It’s very common for grooms to ask childhood friends or long-time friends in general, even if they aren’t as close as they once were. There’s something nice about having your whole life represented up there in your friends.
Consideration 3: This Costs Money
If you’ve ever been a groomsman, you know it can get expensive. Tuxes and flights and hotels, oh my. If you’ve got a good friend who’s pouring all his money into a new business he’s starting, maybe don’t ask him. You want him there, obviously, and you can still invite him to the rehearsal dinner and give him a role in the wedding. However, be cognizant of the fact that you can put a financial burden on your groomsmen if they can’t afford the costs incurred.
Consideration 4: Who Do You Count On?
This is more best man territory, but it’s worth general consideration. Not only do the people you count on play a huge role in your life, but they’re also pragmatically useful on your wedding day and beforehand. You’ll likely be overwhelmed during the week leading up to the big day. You want guys you can delegate tasks to beforehand and during who you trust.
Ways to Ask Your Crew to Be Your Groomsmen
Alright, now that we know who to ask, let’s move on to the fun part: stuff.
Alcohol in All Forms
This is a classic one. Get your guys monogrammed/engraved pint glasses, rocks glasses, flasks or what have you. Maybe a bottle of their favorite whiskey each if you’ve got the budget for it.
The classic “hey, stand up there while I get married” option is the cigar. Now, not all dudes smoke cigars, and this may be more ceremonial than anything. Still, it’s a tried-and-true classic. Just make sure they don’t leave the cigar out for weeks and then try to smoke it. Maybe stick with lighter, beginner-friendly cigars if your boys aren’t big stogie guys themselves. You don’t want them throwing up from your gift.
Cufflinks and Other Accessories
Another in the line of classic-if-not-mainly-ceremonial groomsmen gifts is a set of cufflinks or other similarly niche accessories. If you’ve been a groomsman, do you still use the gift you got? There’s a decent chance the answer is no. However, if you’ve got stylish friends, get them some cufflinks. They might wear them more than once!
Ties They Might Wear More Than Once
Ties can get a little more play in day-to-day life than cufflinks. Send over a good tie they can keep wearing for years to come.
There are plenty of great manly groomsmen gifts out there, but there’s just something about a good, hefty lighter. Like a classic Zippo style or something engraved in wood. Throw those Bics away.
A Box with Several of These Options Combined
Throw a few of these ideas in a nice box and you’re set. Maybe a small bottle of something besides cufflinks and a lighter. Extra points if it’s in a cool box.
Stuff Is Best Served in Boxes
If all else fails, get them a subscription service to something they like. Seriously, you can get anything delivered in box service form now. Why even leave your house at this point? Agoraphobia aside, a few months of a box service is a great choice if you aren’t sure what to get.
As cheesy as “it’s the thought that counts” is, it rings (pun intended) incredibly true here. It’s more about the act of giving something than the thing itself, so don’t sweat it too much.